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Goon-o-biff
noun
informal VINO, the grape; literary vintage.
A wine alternative that is consumed for a good purpose.
1 the student consumed some Goon-o-biff to numb the pain GOON, wine, alcoholic beverage, fermented grape liquid
2 thank you sir for your purchase of Goon-o-biff The natural chemical balance of grapes is such that they can ferment without the addition of sugars, acids, enzymes or other nutrients.

Due to recent events and certain factors, I have officially decided to stop drinking Goon-o-biff (see above). The main reason for this is that consuming a more respectable beverage will taste a lot better with only a slight increase in cost. It is also scientifically proven that an increase in goon consumption leads to a decrease in 'getting with the ladies'.