The Bro Code

Back in the year 1776, Philadelphia, Benjamin Franklin and George Washington were having a drink and arguing over how George cock-blocked Benjamin during a recent celebration. 'There is no rule against it!' George argued.
'Well there should be!' replied Benjamin. 'There should be a set of rules that govern the way bros can act among other bros.'
'But who shall write such a document? I have to go to DC and pose for the dollar bill.' replied George.
'And I have to do some kite flying or something...' As both Washington and Franklin were left with no hope of ever producing this document, a marvelous man stood up and said.
'I shall write this set of rules.'
'It is resolved, Barnabas Stinson shall write - the Bro Code.'

The Bro Code is a living document - manifest in its 89 amendments - and as such is not yet publicly available in an unabridged volume. The original document is housed in a non-disclosed location, two stories beneath sea level in a vacuum-sealed bulletproof chamber.



Certain Articles contain the following amendments:

1. Bro's before ho's.

3. Bro's cannot make eye contact during a "devil's three-way" (two dudes).

5. Never drink the last beer, unless you've been granted specific permission that it's OK.

17. It’s alright to cheat at any game where money isn’t involved. In certain circumstances, relationships may be classified as “games.”

20. When out with Bros, never accept a call from your girlfriend—unless she’s dying or trapped under a burning fuel truck, and if that’s the case, make it quick.

26. A Bro will, in a timely manner, alert his Bro to the existence of a girl fight.

34. A Bro should never cry during a movie. In the event that said Bro does, he must under no circumstance admit it to anyone other than a girl he is trying to score with.

53. A Bro will, whenever possible, provide his Bro with protection.

62. In the event that two Bros acquire the same target, the Bro with the longer dry spell has dibs. Should the dry spells be of equal length, a game of discreet roshambo shall determine the outcome.

68. If a Bro be on a hot streak, another Bro will do everything possible to ensure its longevity, even if that includes jeopardising his own records, the missing of work, or temporary immigration to a foreign country.

89. A Bro may never pursue the mom of another Bro.