Sick of Being Sick

For the past week and a bit, I have been unbelievably sick so I haven't been able to do some things that I would usually do. This has restricted me in both a positive and negative way and below I have complied a few small activities/events which have been effected into a Pro or Con column.

Pro's about being sick;

1. More attention (I know its hard to believe thats possible, but it is)
2. Sleeping in
3. Missing school, this is also a Con

Con's about being sick;

1. Being sick
2. Not being allowed to go to friends places
3. Not being allowed to go to parties
4. Not being allowed to go out of my way to go to friends places/parties (think about it, and if you have, and still think 'WTF?' its all good)
5. Taking anti-biotics - don't do drugs
6. Missing school work,

The list goes on but as you can see, it is more negatively skewed than it is positively. All is well now though, I have come out of hibernation and will be attending the awesome stuff that I previously did once again.

All the best, me

20% More Awesome...

OK, so I was on myspace the other day and I see this guys profile;
'#8 Jake, now with 20% more awesome'

At the time this didn't really concern me, because in the back of my mind, I was thinking that he was at -20% awesome to begin with, henceforth upgrading to a sub-maximal of 0% awesome, he had nothing on me... However, I went to school and told some friends about this, as optimistic as they are they managed to shock me by saying 'Hey Taz, just a thought, but what if he was at say - 80% awesome instead of the estimated -20%? That would mean he is 100% awesome.' What was I suppose to do!! A valid point had been made about the percentile of this Jake's awesomeness. Something had to be done. As soon as I got home from school I signed into myspace.com and changed my profile name to;
'Taz, now 100% more awesome than Jake.'
Win? yeah...Win. What could he do then, he had nothing. With my problem solved I realise that I'll always be 100% more awesome steps in-front of Jake so even if, for some reason - he did manage to top 100% with his extra 20% more awesome bonus, I'd be sitting at 200% awesome, which to say is a little bit less than normal, but to quote AJ after he got his new "hair cut" - Variety is the spice of life.

PS. Jake if you are reading this, I want to let you know that being in my blog does mean that you are awesome, thanks for letting me have something really lame to talk about.

Awesome Award

Throughout the year people will have the chance to be recognized for something awesome they have done. The awesome award will give character and a sense of achievement like no other. People deserve to be put on a pedestal and admired every once in a while and with the awesome award going to a certain individual every week, underprivileged people will be given a chance to stand out from the crowd.

This weeks awesome award goes to...

Hamish and Jolly - For being awesome.

And Cam - For also being awesome.

You guys rock, can't wait to see ya back at skewl.

The Bro Code

Back in the year 1776, Philadelphia, Benjamin Franklin and George Washington were having a drink and arguing over how George cock-blocked Benjamin during a recent celebration. 'There is no rule against it!' George argued.
'Well there should be!' replied Benjamin. 'There should be a set of rules that govern the way bros can act among other bros.'
'But who shall write such a document? I have to go to DC and pose for the dollar bill.' replied George.
'And I have to do some kite flying or something...' As both Washington and Franklin were left with no hope of ever producing this document, a marvelous man stood up and said.
'I shall write this set of rules.'
'It is resolved, Barnabas Stinson shall write - the Bro Code.'

The Bro Code is a living document - manifest in its 89 amendments - and as such is not yet publicly available in an unabridged volume. The original document is housed in a non-disclosed location, two stories beneath sea level in a vacuum-sealed bulletproof chamber.



Certain Articles contain the following amendments:

1. Bro's before ho's.

3. Bro's cannot make eye contact during a "devil's three-way" (two dudes).

5. Never drink the last beer, unless you've been granted specific permission that it's OK.

17. It’s alright to cheat at any game where money isn’t involved. In certain circumstances, relationships may be classified as “games.”

20. When out with Bros, never accept a call from your girlfriend—unless she’s dying or trapped under a burning fuel truck, and if that’s the case, make it quick.

26. A Bro will, in a timely manner, alert his Bro to the existence of a girl fight.

34. A Bro should never cry during a movie. In the event that said Bro does, he must under no circumstance admit it to anyone other than a girl he is trying to score with.

53. A Bro will, whenever possible, provide his Bro with protection.

62. In the event that two Bros acquire the same target, the Bro with the longer dry spell has dibs. Should the dry spells be of equal length, a game of discreet roshambo shall determine the outcome.

68. If a Bro be on a hot streak, another Bro will do everything possible to ensure its longevity, even if that includes jeopardising his own records, the missing of work, or temporary immigration to a foreign country.

89. A Bro may never pursue the mom of another Bro.

Top 10 Similarities Between Women And Fish

1. Both are attracted to shiny objects.

2. More fun to catch while drinking.

3. Neither travel well, so best just to leave them.

4. They can't go anywhere without their group.

5. Easier to catch the weak ones (like going for two 4s instead of an 8).

6. They get pissy if you grab their tail.

7. Both wild and farm raised have their benefits.

8. Easier to reel in if you let them wear themselves out first.

9. The harder they shake their tail, the farther they'll go in life.

10. They will suck up anything you drop infront of their mouths (High five!)

Say What?

Goon-o-biff
noun
informal VINO, the grape; literary vintage.
A wine alternative that is consumed for a good purpose.
1 the student consumed some Goon-o-biff to numb the pain GOON, wine, alcoholic beverage, fermented grape liquid
2 thank you sir for your purchase of Goon-o-biff The natural chemical balance of grapes is such that they can ferment without the addition of sugars, acids, enzymes or other nutrients.

Due to recent events and certain factors, I have officially decided to stop drinking Goon-o-biff (see above). The main reason for this is that consuming a more respectable beverage will taste a lot better with only a slight increase in cost. It is also scientifically proven that an increase in goon consumption leads to a decrease in 'getting with the ladies'.

A Perspicuous Night Out

With Gauci's arrival back from Europe, I finally decided to pay him a visit. I got to his place and we caught up for a bit. Let me skip the boring stuff - we fast forward here... The general crew now consisted of myself, Will, Ingie and Harriet. As much fun as we were having at the time 'shaving half of Gauci's head', Harriet decided to call up two of her girl friends and asked them if they wanted to do some stuff. They did.

We ended up driving to their place (thanks Max) and picking them up. The total sum of awesome cramped into one car made it a bit squishy, but I didn't mind - Will likes his front seat, Max likes to drive and Fudge... He likes to pimp out in the back with three girls (high five!). On the way back to Harriet's where we would complete shaving Will's head, I began to notice something, the jokes I were making amused these girls. It was about here that I realised that this night would be pretty awesome.

Many things happened after we got back to Harriet's - we drove a lot, people still laughed at my lame jokes, we helped a passed out/drunken youth right outside Wash-mans house, drove some more, went to some cool places, chilled at Will's for a while, had some form of group orgy, then dropped the girls off back home at 6:30am. To sum it all up, I met some cool new girls - Em and Sav, and overall had a awesome perspicuous night out.

More to come, later